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Coping With Bladder Cancer and Your Emotions

When your doctor tells you, “You have bladder cancer,” the emotional side effects can be devastating. These side effects from being diagnosed with bladder cancer may include dealing with a variety of emotions:

Sadness
Anxiety
Anger and resentment
Stress
Fear and uncertainty
Guilt
Even a loss of positive self-image

Sometimes, people find it difficult to express how they feel to their loved ones. Some have found that talking to an oncology social worker, counselor, or member of the clergy can help them develop more effective ways of coping and talking about cancer. You may need to consider professional help if you feel anxious, frightened or depressed. Talk to your medical team or family doctor who can advise you.

The Emotional Rollercoaster Of Bladder Cancer

The following information, “You’re on the Rollercoaster of Emotions,” was originally written by Valerie MacLeod, a bladder cancer survivor and has been revised and updated. Inspired by the book Rollercoaster of Change™ by Stephen Haines (www.csm-asia.com). It talks about the “four stages of the emotional rollercoaster.”

1. Shock and Denial

In the Shock & Denial stage, you can’t believe that the doctor has told you that you have bladder cancer. You hope the tests were mixed up at the lab, you pretend that nothing happened. Often people search for information about bladder cancer, spending hours on the Internet. These are all normal reactions to a cancer diagnosis, along with loss of energy, feeling numb or isolated, feeling tense and having an upset stomach.

We go through these feelings every time we are told news that comes as a surprise. The doctor calls to say you’ve got bladder cancer, there is inflammation on the lining of your bladder, or even the cancer is gone – all these expected pronouncements will put you into Shock & Denial. The news we received and how long we have been on the Rollercoaster will determine how long you stay in this stage.

To move along the Rollercoaster, you need to realize that this is happening to you and try to stop denying and accept the facts. By talking with your family & friends, getting on websites like this and looking towards the future you can also help get yourself out of the Shock & Denial stage.

2. Anger and Depression

When you are in the Anger & Depression stage, you are confused, anxious, angry, frustrated and depressed. You lack energy, feel less productive and have continued physical symptoms like stomach upsets, pounding heart and tense muscles. All these responses are natural and normal.

All bladder cancer patients go through Anger & Depression, but we can cope with it by talking with family & friends, seeing a counsellor, venting in support groups, and posting your feelings and frustrations on web forums.

3. Hope and Readjustment

Sometimes people never get to the Hope & Readjustment stage of the Rollercoaster, choosing to stay in Anger & Depression for a long time. This is because there is a Hang-In Point between this stage and the Anger & Depression stage where people make a choice to either hang in and go through the final two stages or whether to remain long-term in Anger & Depression. Despite the perceived strength and power of the previous stage in the emotional rollercoaster, it is healthier for you to move through all four stages of the Rollercoaster instead of getting stuck in one place.

In Hope & Readjustment people start to feel more positive, they are more hopeful about the future and feel more energetic. This is a time to celebrate and to give back to the people who have supported you. You should thank your family and friends for their help throughout your experience with bladder cancer. You could also support other bladder cancer patients who are experiencing similar emotions through our website and/or in the Discuss Forum. You should also continue using your support systems and taking care of yourself.

4. Rebuilding

The final phase of the Rollercoaster of Change is where you have come to accept the new reality. Whatever changes experienced become the “new norm.” It is a time to celebrate how far you have come and thanks to emerging novel treatments and research, there is also new hope for those with bladder cancer. Like so many others, you can live beyond a bladder cancer diagnosis.

Supporting yourself and others during your bladder cancer journey | Bladder Cancer Canada

Summary

The four stages of the Rollercoaster of Change are natural, normal and highly predictable. You will go through the stages even if the news is good. You will go through it much quicker if you receive an “all clear” on a cystoscopy, but people are psychologically wired to experience these stages whenever an unexpected change happens.

Unfortunately, we do not travel through the four stages of the Rollercoaster of Change smoothly. We sometimes stay in one phase for a while and backtrack to a previous stage. We all travel through the stages at different speeds. All of this is normal.

Knowing what to expect at each stage of the Rollercoaster of Emotions will help you manage the myriad of feelings you will experience. Remember, you are not alone on this journey. We are all in this together!

Let us help you cope with bladder cancer and your emotions.

If you are newly diagnosed, please visit our Newly Diagnosed page.